i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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