you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
