whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize