bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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