I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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