thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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