so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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