Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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