Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
