yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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