Im at strip club and am horny
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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