so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
