idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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