dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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