It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
