At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
