Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
