hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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