No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
