Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
