Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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