Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
