Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
