You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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