I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
