im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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