69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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