I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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