bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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