Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
