So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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