If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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