your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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