Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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