shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Mom said you looked used
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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