just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize