My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
