you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
