My nipple is on Facebook.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
