Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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