You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
