So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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