We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
