I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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