i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
