Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
