you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize