You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
