oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
