she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
