my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
