forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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