A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
