Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize