i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
