dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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