do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize