Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
