stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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