p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
