i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
