whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
