There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
