Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
